Crunch Time

Video Games and Marriage

Digital Detox Week

April 19 - 24 is Digital Detox Week.  This is a campaign created by Adbusters to free us from the confines of a digital lifestyle.  Here is what Zachary Colbert of Adbusters has to say about the challenge to detox our lives from our digital addiction:

"We are being shaped by the constant proliferation of digital technologies in our everyday lifestyles. The Internet may have connected the globe forever, but the developed world is now completely at its mercy. Terms and conditions apply to our autonomy. The World Wide Web has infused our society with an all-encompassing reliance on media technologies. At any given time we are staring at a screen, listening to an iPod, using GPS or holding our iPhone – the device that combines all the above functions in an intuitive and responsive little pocket tool. With this handy instrument on us at all times we are obligated to communicate and to be tuned in to entertainment and information. We are objectified as “users” not people. The products of our digital revolution run our daily routines. We are no longer free agents – technical extensions to our physical selves have become as vital as a limb or an organ.

Digital media will continue to shape us independently and as a society, by acting as a conduit of experience and by invading our real space and time. How many of us have wasted hours idly surfing the Internet or aimlessly flicking through endless TV channels?

This is what Jean Baudrillard called “the era of simulation,” we are being herded in preordained directions, dictated by omniscient authors. By following hyperlinks on Wikipedia, for example, we are following someone else’s premeditated path through information and jumping from one piece of subject matter to another. All too often users mistake these connections as their own and continually follow externalized thought processes, relying less and less on their natural associations. Similarly, social networks such as MySpace and Facebook externalize relationships, which has fragmented society by encouraging everyone to recede into their new portable plaything rather than sparking up conversation. The BlackBerry smartphone means that bosses never have to leave the office, while microblogging services such as Twitter mean that they can text the entire team to call an all-important emergency meeting in one fell swoop. Escape is futile. As we move from an industrial civilization into an information civilization, we’re online and we’re locked in. Try a digital detox for even just a day, I bet you will fail, I already have"

The loss of reverie

I'm pooped. I mean it. Our contemporary culture and its accompanying stresses has left me exhausted. Not in the physical sense, mind you, but in the mental.  The speed at which everything runs today is zapping my cognitive resistance.  What is eroding in me is attention.  I can't focus.

Despite our wondrous technologies and scientific advances, we are nurturing a culture of diffusion, fragmentation, and detachment.  The thesis of a very important book by Maggie Jackson entitled Distracted posits that the way we live is eroding our capacity for deep, sustained, perceptive attention - the building block of intimacy, wisdom and cultural progress. She writes that

"Increasingly we are shaped by distraction...the seduction of alternative virtual universes, the addictive allure of multitasking people and things, our near religious allegiance to a constant state of motion: these are markers of a land of distraction...This is why we are less and less able to see, hear and comprehend what's relevant and permanent, why so many of us feel that we can barely keep our heads above water, and our days are marked by perpetual loose ends."

It suddenly dawned on me that I no longer waste time. My days have been subdivided into smaller and smaller units of efficient time. I have lost reverie. Reverie is a state of being lost in one's thoughts; to daydream.  When is the last time you daydreamed?  When was the last time you deeply pondered a sunset, or sprawled on the grass with your arms behind your head letting your thoughts wander with the movement of the clouds? 

If, like me, it's been a while, then you are overly distracted.  We are in essence not nurturing our inner selves when we lose reverie. I encourage you to go ahead and waste some time every day.  Don't let the efficiency bug infect you. Give yourself permission to go against the speed, expectations, and distractions of your life. Don't respond to the annoying "ping" of arriving email - stay focused on the task at hand. Shut off the television and read a book for two hours straight (think you can?). Don't check Facebook or Twitter for a whole week.  Have a three hour dinner with good friends. Let go of the guilt for wasting time.

You'll be a more interesting and deeply peaceful person as a result.

Virtual Sex

In our accelerated and fragmented culture, teens and emerging adults have started to abandon dating in favor of "hooking up". This seems to be consistent with the freedom to have multiple partners as people have friends on their Facebook profile. 

An interesting article by Douglas Haddow in Adbusters, reveals that while dating is on the decline, the use of sex toys has risen sharply:  "There is a huge proliferation in "next-generation" sex dolls.  Primarily produced by RealDoll, these are life size, 100% silicone dolls that are highly detailed, fully customizable and provide a physical experience that users find comparable to actual sex.

"David Levy, Artificial Intelligence engineer and author of Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships, believes that these dolls will rapidly evolve into full-blown robots and that robot-human relationships will become technologically possible and socially acceptable within a mere 20 years."

This technological quandary is creating confusion as to what it means to be fully human.  Our culture and capabilities are manufacturing desires to be less than human.  What does sex really mean when it is with a robot apart from human relationship?  It means that the robot we ultimately end up having sex with is our self. 

Nouns and verbs for a New Year

The New York Times ran an op-ed piece visualizing the significant cultural dynamics of the last decade (00's):

 

Notice the bottom two categories: nouns and verbs.  Words matter and can succinctly sum up cultural moments and collective consciousness.  Looking ahead to the next decade, here are some of my own nouns and verbs (along with definitions) that I believe will be key signifiers in the years to come:

NOUNS:

Joy: The smoldering internal ember that refuses to be extinguished despite repeated external attempts to douse it.  Happiness is embedded in our constitution and is a protected right.  Yet happiness is fleeting in our attempts to capture it.  Joy, on the other hand, captures us.

Scola: This is the Latin word for "leisure" and the root of our English words for "school" and "scholarship". It is not used in the sense of nursing an umbrella drink while lounging in a hammock.  It means to have unencumbered time to explore a topic or idea deeply and thoroughly.  Ask any teacher today and they will tell you their classroom is the farthest thing from leisure you can possibly find.

Frugal: To enjoy the fruits of one's labor in such a way that their value is intensified and their good effects multiplied to everyone. It has little to do with consumption and everything to do with contentment. It is a nasty and debilitating word to our consumer culture.  You watch - it will be attacked and squelched at every turn.

Bipolar: I am hearing this description used more and more in reference to our cultural situation. Listen for it as we attempt to describe the extreme oscillation of change we will continue to experience in the next ten years.

Hypers: This is the moniker I have bestowed on the youngest generation alive today (born after 2000). Though not everyone will agree, I think it aptly describes the metabolism of our contemporary culture and the subsequent challenges that commitment and contemplation will pose for them.

VERBS

Contract: In my training on generations, I use a "c" word to describe the formative themes of each age group. I am using this verb to describe the formative theme for the Hypers (see noun above). The last ten years has seen a steady contraction of perceived freedoms and assumptions that we in the West once enjoyed.  The youngest generation is going to be defined by the restrictions placed upon them by emerging global realities.

Beautify: This is the process whereby aesthetic improvements are undertaken to refurbish decaying infrastructures.  Not only is the infrastructure of many of our urban centers in need of beautification, but the infrastructure of our souls as well.  I predict that artisans will become more relevant and sought after as producers of meaning and beauty.

Pornify: This is the saturation of our culture with the graphic images and demeaning values of an oversexed population. It might even be the reality of an undersexed populace devoid of the intimacy that gives sex its depth and worth.  You watch how this dynamic increases the personal loneliness as we relate more and more on a digital level. This might inspire an earnest search for beauty.

Obviously these nouns and verbs are by no means exhaustive or definitive, but they are on my mind as I look ahead at the changes that await us.

Deeper perspectives

When the US Airways plane with 155 people on board ditched into a chilly Hudson River, we knew who to thank for saving all on board.  It was captain Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger, whose masterful skills navigated the plane to safety. 

But, imagine you are on a plane flying over two hundred miles an hour at thirty thousand feet, when suddenly without explanation, the engines stop working.  The captain has tried everything to get them to reignite, but to no avail. You are in crash position and agonizing your demise.  Then, suddenly, without explanation, the engines burst back to life one by one, delivering you safely home.  Who do you thank then? read more>

Cherish this time...

Time marches on and there isn't anything we can do about it; except change our attitude and perception toward it.  One of my favorite scenes is the monologue by Billy Crystal to his son's fifth grade career day in the movie "City Slickers". Up to this point he has been pondering the unrelenting advancement of time and his meaningful(?) place in it.  His attitude and perception are not only humorous, but very evident:

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do?

Draw out every cent, of course!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Peepholes

It's snowing and cold today where I live.  These conditions create a stubborn glaze of ice on the cars parked outside. The sounds of frantic scrapping on the windshields ricochet through the neighborhood.

In our haste to get on our way, we tend to clear a peephole through the ice just large enough to see ahead.  Yet, such a strategy is dangerous.  It limits our field of vision and diminishes our capacity for strategic response. It's a quick fix with potentially devastating results.

Today's hyper accelerated, disconnected world can quickly ice our souls.  Yet we tend to navigate through it with only a peephole of vision.  As a result, we steer our way through contemporary life with a limited perspective, a diminished response, and a deflated spirit.  A more expansive sight line is needed to keep our souls thawed and our lives expansive.

Have you ever had a conversation that went far deeper than the words spoken or an experience where you felt you had participated in something sacred–that you had been part of the unbidden activity of a reality much more expansive than yourself?  If so, you are experiencing life beyond the peephole.

One of the more significant resources I found to scrape ice from my soul and broaden my vision is the book "God hides in plain sight: How to see the sacred in a chaotic world" by Dean Nelson.  In this colorful, story-driven introduction to sacramental living, Nelson offers human beings a way to see the presence of God amid the chaos and acceleration of every day life.

An expansive life beyond the peephole.  That's the way to go!

Artists of being alive

I recently received a card from a wonderful colleague and friend of mine.  It was created by J. Stone cards.  I find myself reading and re-reading the words that were inscribed within it. May their tribe increase!!

the most visible creators i know of are those artists who express the inexpressible -- with out brush, hammer, clay or guitar. they neither paint nor sculpt -- their medium is being. whatever their presence touches has increased life. they see and don't have to draw. they are the artists of being alive...

The paradox of Change

Great quote for the day:

"The paradox of change is that change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not"

    -Arnold Beisser, M.D.

Interfacing with that thought, I want to recommend one of the best books I have ever read about discovering your true identity and living into what you were created for.  It is "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker J. Palmer.  A short little meditation reflecting on the fact that for the first forty years of our life we live under definitions that others have determined for us.  The last forty years is unpacking the true identity and purpose we were born with in the first place.  Excellent read...I hand it out and never get it back because it then gets handed out and so it goes - the greatest compliment for a book.