Crunch Time

Zero Tolerance

It seems there is zero tolerance for anything these days. No room for error. I'm reminded of the Soup Nazi episode on Seinfeld where the owner would tolerate absolutely no deviation from what he thought was acceptable. Hilarious.

I'm from Denver, Colorado. Though I'm not a huge Broncos fan, I do follow them and their exploits. Their second year coach, Josh McDaniels was fired after a mediocre season and losses that were unacceptable to the owners and the fans. I felt sorry for him in a way. I think you should give a guy a fair shake beyond just two years. Heck, it takes a good year just to ramp up to the expectations and demands of any new job.

Zero tolerance.  Beyond the pressure put on sports figures, I wonder how many of us use a zero tolerance policy toward ourselves. Do we give ourselves a fair shake, or do we berate ourselves for not living up to our expectations?  No soup for us. We won't put up with imperfections or mediocre results in whatever expectations we have for ourselves.

There is a healthy place for striving to be who we were meant to be and living a life of integrity. Those things need monitoring and the participation of others. But when expectations become unwieldly or irrational it's time to fire the soup nazi and hire a more equitable boss.

Peepholes

It's snowing and cold today where I live.  These conditions create a stubborn glaze of ice on the cars parked outside. The sounds of frantic scrapping on the windshields ricochet through the neighborhood.

In our haste to get on our way, we tend to clear a peephole through the ice just large enough to see ahead.  Yet, such a strategy is dangerous.  It limits our field of vision and diminishes our capacity for strategic response. It's a quick fix with potentially devastating results.

Today's hyper accelerated, disconnected world can quickly ice our souls.  Yet we tend to navigate through it with only a peephole of vision.  As a result, we steer our way through contemporary life with a limited perspective, a diminished response, and a deflated spirit.  A more expansive sight line is needed to keep our souls thawed and our lives expansive.

Have you ever had a conversation that went far deeper than the words spoken or an experience where you felt you had participated in something sacred–that you had been part of the unbidden activity of a reality much more expansive than yourself?  If so, you are experiencing life beyond the peephole.

One of the more significant resources I found to scrape ice from my soul and broaden my vision is the book "God hides in plain sight: How to see the sacred in a chaotic world" by Dean Nelson.  In this colorful, story-driven introduction to sacramental living, Nelson offers human beings a way to see the presence of God amid the chaos and acceleration of every day life.

An expansive life beyond the peephole.  That's the way to go!

Friends and Aquaintances

It's fascinating to me that in this day and age of Myspace and Facebook there is no longer a relational category of "aquaintance".  Everyone is a "friend". 

The problem is, we aren't quite sure what a friend is.  Modern American friendships have lost the force and importance they once had. C. S. Lewis for example, in his The Four Loves, writes:

"To the Ancients, friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it".

According to a 2006 study documented in the journal the American Sociological Review, since 1985 Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships. The study states 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from four to two.

In the age of social networking, we are all alone.

But in the avalanche of ceaseless change, we need good friends to migrate with us through its intensity. In your social network who are your friends and who are your aquaintances.  The distinction is important. How do you know? 

To me, an aquaintence is more like a CEO. You know, the boss that keeps you on task, highlights the bottom line, and has the power to promote or demote depending on your performance.  They put conditions on your future behavior and leverage your vulnerabilities as a show of their managerial finesse in helping you.  

We all need people to play that role in our lives, but as aquaintances, not friends. A friend is uniquely suited to nurture your soul and invigorate your thinking.  It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for who you are and not what he or she is looking for in a good friend. 

A friend suffers fools because we all are fools from time to time. Aquaintances don't put up with our crap for long. Friends do, thank God.  Savor the following quote from Frederick Buechner as you reflect on friends in your life.

“Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love.”

It's On

Southwest Airlines launched a new Ad Campaign on June 1st aimed at tough times. At the end of the ad a narrator intones that the airline doesn't fly around tough times. It's on, and they're ready.

It's on for all us... 

It's on every time our minds persist in discouraging thoughts.

It's on every time we think we can go it alone without the comaraderie of those who care.

It's on every time we stubbornly refuse to admit our fear and hide behind a facade of platitudes.

It's on every time we avoid nourishing our souls with silent listening, contemplation, and transcedent faith.

It's on every time our decisions preclude others who are in greater need.

It's on every time we become too enamored with our technology to solve our problems.

It's on every time we rely on massive military might to secure our happiness.

It's on every time we stop taking initiative for the health of our relationships.

It's on every time we live without grace.

This is the time of our lives. It's tough. It's on. Are you ready?

Listen to your life

During these chaotic times of change and uncertainty in our lives, I'm reminded again of some wonderful words:

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."

-from Frederick Buechner's Now and Then