Crunch Time

Testicular cancer? No problem

There are many tough, challenging times in life, but the critical component in all of them is choosing how we are going to respond. In the silly movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story there is an exchange in a bar between Peter La Fleur the star player and Lance Armstrong the seven time Tour de France winner.

Peter is near the end of his desire to hang in there. His team is losing and his performance on the Dodgeball court has been abysmal. He is nursing a beer confiding to Lance Armstrong (A dodgeball fan by the way) that he has just quit.

“Quit?” Lance replies. “You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?”

Peter with his head bowed low answers that it feels a bit like shame.

“Well,” Lance added, “I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.”

Giving in to the extremely tough times will haunt you forever. Getting up from them, gritting your teeth, and becoming stronger will bring a fullness of life and depth of accomplishments you couldn’t get any other way.

Become who you really are

There was an unemployed man looking for work. He found an opening at a zoo that was looking for someone to dress in a gorilla costume and sit in a cage. The real gorilla, the star attraction, had passed away and they didn't want to let the visitors know.

He figured he could that. He applied, got the job, and began to sit in the cage in the gorilla costume. He got bored so he began to jump around and act "gorilla like". He found out that the more animated he became with the gorilla moves, the more elated the audience became. He was intoxicated with the accolades, so he thought he would really work the crowd.

He began swinging on a vine, and on his third pass he slipped and flew right into the lion's cage. He realized he was in grave danger so he began to tell the audience that he really wasn't a gorilla, he was only dressing up in a costume and they needed to get help.

Before he could get the message completely out, the lion pounced on the man, pinned him to the ground and said, "Would you shut up! Do you want to get us both found out?!"

Most people spend the first half of their lives being what others expect them to be. They then spend the second half of their lives being what they were made for in the first place. But why wait til then to to become an authentic person? Becoming who you really are requires some bold moves.

First you must get out of your costume. Undress yourself from market definitions of who you are supposed to be. Become unbranded from product lines and become your own brand. Do the hard work of discerning what expectations from others are accurate and which are unreasonable. I think your gut knows the difference. This will make you a new person.

Then become free from your cage. If ignorance is bliss, then we have alot of contented people in the world. Don't believe everything you read or hear. Take the time to think and determine where you are being locked in by biases (yours and others), past disappointments and other restrictive components of life. Change and healing begins with you. Often our cages are locked from the inside.

Finally, venture out into the wild. The philosopher David Henry Thoreau said that the "mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Often what is called resignation is in reality desperation. Out into the wild is really a part of the life you live now. To be out of your costumes and free from your cages opens a whole new adventure for the life you are already living. Doing this will give you a whole new purpose.

Uncharted waters

I can remember the birth of my first child. So many thoughts and feelings accompany that moment- will I be a good father?, what kind of world will he inherit?, am I going to be able to fund his hopes and dreams? can I change a diaper? will I gag on the stench?

That moment was freighted with many unknowns. My wife and I were about to set sail on the uncharted waters of parenthood. Could we do it? How were we going to navigate it? There was no shortage of advice and self-help books promising a compass to point us in the right direction. Yet parenting is messy business, it doesn't always follow accepted norms and patterns. Your final destination is hard to arrive at, let alone know where it is. We had to learn to navigate as we went along, conducting soundings along the way to chart our progress. 

In navigating the unknown waters of change today, there are helpful resources for the journey, but their applications in real life can be tenuous. So, you take soundings and periodically assess how you are doing. In essence, you make it up as you go- throwing out resources that don't work and improvising new ones that do. This requires resilience, the ability to adjust your course accordingly, and continue navigating successfully on the disorientation of uncharted waters. Those who are unable to adjust end up shipwrecked on an island of confusion and despair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mauraders of change

A ship ladened with gold, silver, and precious jewels was on its way back to port when it was suddenly confronted by a pirate ship, skull and crossbones flag waving in the wind. The first mate asked the captain what they should do. The captain simply replied, "Bring me my red shirt". They repelled the pirates with out sustaining any casualties.

A few days later the ship was confronted not by one but by three pirate ships. The first mate asked the captain what they should do. His reply again was, "Bring me my red shirt". The captain fought valiantly and was an inspiration to the rest of the crew. They again held off the pirates with very few casualites.

That night as they were celebrating, the first mate asked the captain what the secret of the red shirt was. "It's quite simple," replied the captain. "I wear the red shirt because then the men won't see the blood from my wounds and will be inspired to continue to fight."

Another couple days went by when yet again they were confronted by pirate ships. The strength of the mauraders this time was an armada of ten ships. The first mate, in a panic, asked the captain what they should do. The captain answered, "First mate, bring me my brown pants."

There are many reasons today to wear our brown pants. The mauraders of change that bear down upon us can cause great fear and a trepidation:

The Financial Marauder: We are currently living in the worst economic times since the Great Depression of the 1930's. No one has been immune to its residual effects. People either are, or know someone who is, laid off or underemployed and struggling to make ends meet.

So we wear our brown pants.

The Technological Marauder: We live in a day and age of rapid technological advancement. It's exciting, but is still wrought with fear. Are we able to keep up with the accelerated innovations? As more and more functions are being taken over by technological automation, where does that leave the workforce? With the blending of fact and fiction, real and digital (atoms and bits) what does it mean to be human?

And so, we wear our brown pants.

The Environmental Maurader: The degredation of our natural habitat is quickening. The warming of the planet is causing frequent and powerful weather events. Earthquakes remind us that we are beholden to the natural moans and groans of our planet.

And so, we wear our brown pants.

The Educational Maurader: Our public school system is the focus of much critique. No matter how much money we throw at our concerns, education in the United States is lagging in many ways the rest of the world. The answer to the question, 'What does it mean to be well educated today?" does not seem to align with the answer of our current educational systems.

And so, we wear our brown pants.

These are just a few of the mauraders  that are sailing the waters of incredible change. We could come up with many more. The challenges and opportunities are all there before us, confronting our abilities to engage in significant ways. Fear is there, yes, but so too is the adrenaline of where we can go with these changes. The onus is on us to engage them with confidence and in ways that will better the world - or at least our little corner of it.

Welcome to the outer limits

The old, funky television show “The Outer Limits” had one of the most creative openings I can remember. The screen you were watching would begin as a test pattern. Then suddenly it would begin to morph and act erratically as an ominous voice would begin to narrate,

“There is nothing wrong with your television set” it would intone, “Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits.”

It seems today that we have entered a place in the outer limits. The speed of change is mind boggling. We are held captive to a test pattern and we feel as if we have no control over our situation and its extraordinary changes.

The subsequent anxiety often expresses itself as a vice-like compression deep in the gut. Our thoughts race around in our skulls first thing in the morning toward what seems an insurmountable finish line. Days become reflective, many times obsessive, about the state of our lives and the condition of our world.

It’s no wonder. I believe we are in an unprecedented time of change, the likes of which have been experienced only a few times before. It’s an evolutionary exclamation point in human history.

Alvin Toffler’s "Social Wave-Front Analysis" looks at history as a succession of rolling waves of change and asks where the leading edge of each wave is carrying us. It focuses our attention not so much on the continuities of history as on the discontinuities--the innovations and breakpoints.
The First Wave in human history was the agricultural revolution.  It was during this time we learned to cultivate the land and grow fruits and vegetables from seeds.  It lasted for thousands of years.

The Second Wave was the industrial revolution. During this time we learned to harness the energy of steam, coal, and oil to advance the ability of machines to make work more efficient and our lives more convenient.  This lasted for hundreds of years.

The Third Wave of human development is what Toffler calls the information age.  This movement is only decades in the making and we are still trying to catch up with the speed of its change and its far-reaching impact on what it means to be human.

This is our time…this is when we discover what we are really made of...

That's the irony. Our true character doesn't reveal itself when times are sedate or situations are easy. It emerges when we are brought to the brink of intense challenges.  What a great opportunity to strengthen our resolve and build the mental and emotional moxie such times require.

 

This is NOT meant to be a downer

The health club where I work out is in the basement of a medical office building. It was originally intended by the hospital to be a place of therapy for patients as well as a benefit to employees. It's quite nice. I leave feeling invigorated from the exercise. 

Yet, everytime I leave I can't help but feel a bit sanguine. You see, on my way out to the parking lot I have to make my way through the elderly and infirmed who are there to see their doctors. Many times there are vans with lifts helping down patients in wheel chairs. Walkers are ubiquous as the aging joints no longer seem as spry or lubricated as they once were and extra help is needed to walk and move forward.

I'm glad I encounter it all though. It keeps my life in perspective and gives me a renewed vigor for the present moment. Soon, much sooner than I would like, I will be in their shoes. My joints will be worse off then they are now (though mine do ache from time to time). I'm sure there will be many visits to the doctor just to keep the affects of old age under control. I already have a couple "liver spots" on my neck for goodness sake.

I also participated in a funeral service today for a dear friend who passed away at age 50 (50!) from melanoma. Talk about an event that keeps things in perspective and compels one to make the most of every moment.

All that is to say, we should wisely reallocate resourses from the future (whether it be money or time) and use it for the service of the present. There are a friends to see, places to go, and family to love. Time moves quickly and we never know how soon our life may end. What, then, is all that disproportionate worry about future comfort and security etc. going to do for us?

I'm not trying to be a downer here, but I believe the healthiest thing we can do is look in the mirror and admit to ourselves that we are aging and are going to die some day. It's scathingly honest and eliminates all kinds of dysfuntion and psychosis. It keeps us on our toes. It also helps us live today no matter what our age.

Maybe the most wonderful gift we can give ourselves and others today, is quite simply, today. Live it now, live it fully, and live it well - because for heaven sakes time is swift and unpredictable.  I'm not much of a philosopher (makes my head bust open), but I am passionate about life, and life becomes more meaningful and richer when I filter it through the lense of dying.

The leader's mystique

Our time of extraordinary change involves extremely diminished morale and anger among citizens (with or without jobs); a grim budget year for states; an economic scare in European financial markets; an ecological disaster in the gulf coast of Louisiana; and the prospect of a lesser standard of living than in the past.  The list no doubt can go on and on.

What is needed for this time, this moment, is a unique kind of leader, a leader tasked with taking advantage of the crisis to cross over to a new model and way of doing and being. The following four deeply engrained abilities (inspired from one of my mentors, Jim Miller, whose "HopeLens" blog can be linked to on the side bar) embody a leader's mystique, an allure to spark the impulse to migrate together through our moment of extraordinary change.

Mud on our hands 

The participation of hard work alongside those we lead not only commands great respect, but seeds an inspiration for others to see their work as making a difference.  Leaders in crisis and change aren't afraid to dive in and dig in at every level of their organization, to do well what others deem not worthy of doing.

Love in our hearts

A leader understands the power of love as a critical undercurrent in the hearts of people. Love embodies itself in patience and kindness, humility and forgiveness, hope and a dogged pursuit of the truth. Nurturing these qualities daily soon leads to them being second nature in our relationships.

Stars in our eyes

Imagine what it would mean to your people if you inspired a vision that transcends the temporal difficulties they may face. This involves putting the gleam back in the eyes of people whose luster in life has slowly been extinguished. Be relentless in putting hope and enthusiasm before everyone you meet.

Curiosity in our minds

The ability to re-imagine and the permission to explore completely new ways of doing things (involving the encouragement of failure) is critical to contributing to a leader's mystique. Seek out wilder ideas from everyone at every level. You'll be honored as a leader that realizes life is not settled, but is in perpetual motion. Ideas are the catalyst moving forward.

How it feels sometimes

The many harsh realities of the so called Great Recession seem to cobble together and accentuate one bad thing after another and turn them into one horrendous thing - a pit.

After a while, as the pit gets deeper, you experience a giddy resignation. You can't explain it, it's so counter intuitive, but you do it. No matter how deep, insurmountable, or irreparable the pit, there sometimes comes a unique moment when you just give into the situation. When all resources are exhausted, what else can you do?

One of my favorite scenes that highlights the movement toward giddy resignation is from the movie "The Money Pit" with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long.  Together they buy what they thought was their dream house, only to find out that it was indeed a money pit, persistently draining every ounce of financial, emotional, and relational resolve they had.

This scene is from Tom Hanks' character giving up and giddily giving in to a crappy situation. It's how it feels sometimes...

Kill yourself

Did you know you can kill yourself and still stay alive? Two new websites are providing the means to kill your virtual self - a virtual suicide.  If you feel that your virtual life is becoming shallow, repetitive, and less worth living, check 'em out.

• www.suicidemachine.org
  
• www.seppukoo.com

They will hack into your profiles, completely annihilating your online persona and leaving no trace of your former self behind.  Many people are finding it extremely liberating. The following is a news report on CNN:

Deeper perspectives

When the US Airways plane with 155 people on board ditched into a chilly Hudson River, we knew who to thank for saving all on board.  It was captain Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger, whose masterful skills navigated the plane to safety. 

But, imagine you are on a plane flying over two hundred miles an hour at thirty thousand feet, when suddenly without explanation, the engines stop working.  The captain has tried everything to get them to reignite, but to no avail. You are in crash position and agonizing your demise.  Then, suddenly, without explanation, the engines burst back to life one by one, delivering you safely home.  Who do you thank then? read more>