Crunch Time

Testicular cancer? No problem

There are many tough, challenging times in life, but the critical component in all of them is choosing how we are going to respond. In the silly movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story there is an exchange in a bar between Peter La Fleur the star player and Lance Armstrong the seven time Tour de France winner.

Peter is near the end of his desire to hang in there. His team is losing and his performance on the Dodgeball court has been abysmal. He is nursing a beer confiding to Lance Armstrong (A dodgeball fan by the way) that he has just quit.

“Quit?” Lance replies. “You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?”

Peter with his head bowed low answers that it feels a bit like shame.

“Well,” Lance added, “I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.”

Giving in to the extremely tough times will haunt you forever. Getting up from them, gritting your teeth, and becoming stronger will bring a fullness of life and depth of accomplishments you couldn’t get any other way.

Become who you really are

There was an unemployed man looking for work. He found an opening at a zoo that was looking for someone to dress in a gorilla costume and sit in a cage. The real gorilla, the star attraction, had passed away and they didn't want to let the visitors know.

He figured he could that. He applied, got the job, and began to sit in the cage in the gorilla costume. He got bored so he began to jump around and act "gorilla like". He found out that the more animated he became with the gorilla moves, the more elated the audience became. He was intoxicated with the accolades, so he thought he would really work the crowd.

He began swinging on a vine, and on his third pass he slipped and flew right into the lion's cage. He realized he was in grave danger so he began to tell the audience that he really wasn't a gorilla, he was only dressing up in a costume and they needed to get help.

Before he could get the message completely out, the lion pounced on the man, pinned him to the ground and said, "Would you shut up! Do you want to get us both found out?!"

Most people spend the first half of their lives being what others expect them to be. They then spend the second half of their lives being what they were made for in the first place. But why wait til then to to become an authentic person? Becoming who you really are requires some bold moves.

First you must get out of your costume. Undress yourself from market definitions of who you are supposed to be. Become unbranded from product lines and become your own brand. Do the hard work of discerning what expectations from others are accurate and which are unreasonable. I think your gut knows the difference. This will make you a new person.

Then become free from your cage. If ignorance is bliss, then we have alot of contented people in the world. Don't believe everything you read or hear. Take the time to think and determine where you are being locked in by biases (yours and others), past disappointments and other restrictive components of life. Change and healing begins with you. Often our cages are locked from the inside.

Finally, venture out into the wild. The philosopher David Henry Thoreau said that the "mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Often what is called resignation is in reality desperation. Out into the wild is really a part of the life you live now. To be out of your costumes and free from your cages opens a whole new adventure for the life you are already living. Doing this will give you a whole new purpose.

Welcome to the in-between world

It’s important to recognize where we are.  This is brand new stretch of water.  It’s Crunch Time, a disorienting moment of change rife with such extraordinary potentiality that people are faced with the transformative decision on how to get through it. Professor Walter Brueggemann writes that there are three major stages of orientation that reflect even the seasons of our own lives.

The first stage is being “securely oriented”. It is here that we feel settled and secure. Our lives make sense and the decisions we make are anchored in good judgement. This could be a time when your job seems secure and your family life is well ordered. Financially we are doing okay. Yet we know that this security never hangs around for long. Which leads us to the second stage.

The second stage is being “painfully disoriented”. These are times when we feel blind sided, hurt, and reeling from stress and the perceived enormity of change. Here you may have lost a job, a child, a divorce or some other chaotic and unexpected event. Yet if we persist in this movement, hang on with resilience, the third stage inevitable reveals itself.

This third stage is “surprising reorientated”. This stage is marked by surprise, the way things all seemed to work out for good and gives us something new out of something old. When we are in this stage, life seems renewed and our circumstances are compellingly welcomed. Over time this new place becomes settled and secure and we begin the process of moving through the stages all over again.

Right now we are in a stage of painful disorientation. We suddenly find ourselves in a tough new work and life environment.  We have drifted out of the current of a known world and into the vortex of a completely strange, new world. It's in-between what was and what will be. It will be surprising to see where this all leads us.

The mauraders of change

A ship ladened with gold, silver, and precious jewels was on its way back to port when it was suddenly confronted by a pirate ship, skull and crossbones flag waving in the wind. The first mate asked the captain what they should do. The captain simply replied, "Bring me my red shirt". They repelled the pirates with out sustaining any casualties.

A few days later the ship was confronted not by one but by three pirate ships. The first mate asked the captain what they should do. His reply again was, "Bring me my red shirt". The captain fought valiantly and was an inspiration to the rest of the crew. They again held off the pirates with very few casualites.

That night as they were celebrating, the first mate asked the captain what the secret of the red shirt was. "It's quite simple," replied the captain. "I wear the red shirt because then the men won't see the blood from my wounds and will be inspired to continue to fight."

Another couple days went by when yet again they were confronted by pirate ships. The strength of the mauraders this time was an armada of ten ships. The first mate, in a panic, asked the captain what they should do. The captain answered, "First mate, bring me my brown pants."

There are many reasons today to wear our brown pants. The mauraders of change that bear down upon us can cause great fear and a trepidation:

The Financial Marauder: We are currently living in the worst economic times since the Great Depression of the 1930's. No one has been immune to its residual effects. People either are, or know someone who is, laid off or underemployed and struggling to make ends meet.

So we wear our brown pants.

The Technological Marauder: We live in a day and age of rapid technological advancement. It's exciting, but is still wrought with fear. Are we able to keep up with the accelerated innovations? As more and more functions are being taken over by technological automation, where does that leave the workforce? With the blending of fact and fiction, real and digital (atoms and bits) what does it mean to be human?

And so, we wear our brown pants.

The Environmental Maurader: The degredation of our natural habitat is quickening. The warming of the planet is causing frequent and powerful weather events. Earthquakes remind us that we are beholden to the natural moans and groans of our planet.

And so, we wear our brown pants.

The Educational Maurader: Our public school system is the focus of much critique. No matter how much money we throw at our concerns, education in the United States is lagging in many ways the rest of the world. The answer to the question, 'What does it mean to be well educated today?" does not seem to align with the answer of our current educational systems.

And so, we wear our brown pants.

These are just a few of the mauraders  that are sailing the waters of incredible change. We could come up with many more. The challenges and opportunities are all there before us, confronting our abilities to engage in significant ways. Fear is there, yes, but so too is the adrenaline of where we can go with these changes. The onus is on us to engage them with confidence and in ways that will better the world - or at least our little corner of it.

Welcome to the outer limits

The old, funky television show “The Outer Limits” had one of the most creative openings I can remember. The screen you were watching would begin as a test pattern. Then suddenly it would begin to morph and act erratically as an ominous voice would begin to narrate,

“There is nothing wrong with your television set” it would intone, “Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the outer limits.”

It seems today that we have entered a place in the outer limits. The speed of change is mind boggling. We are held captive to a test pattern and we feel as if we have no control over our situation and its extraordinary changes.

The subsequent anxiety often expresses itself as a vice-like compression deep in the gut. Our thoughts race around in our skulls first thing in the morning toward what seems an insurmountable finish line. Days become reflective, many times obsessive, about the state of our lives and the condition of our world.

It’s no wonder. I believe we are in an unprecedented time of change, the likes of which have been experienced only a few times before. It’s an evolutionary exclamation point in human history.

Alvin Toffler’s "Social Wave-Front Analysis" looks at history as a succession of rolling waves of change and asks where the leading edge of each wave is carrying us. It focuses our attention not so much on the continuities of history as on the discontinuities--the innovations and breakpoints.
The First Wave in human history was the agricultural revolution.  It was during this time we learned to cultivate the land and grow fruits and vegetables from seeds.  It lasted for thousands of years.

The Second Wave was the industrial revolution. During this time we learned to harness the energy of steam, coal, and oil to advance the ability of machines to make work more efficient and our lives more convenient.  This lasted for hundreds of years.

The Third Wave of human development is what Toffler calls the information age.  This movement is only decades in the making and we are still trying to catch up with the speed of its change and its far-reaching impact on what it means to be human.

This is our time…this is when we discover what we are really made of...

That's the irony. Our true character doesn't reveal itself when times are sedate or situations are easy. It emerges when we are brought to the brink of intense challenges.  What a great opportunity to strengthen our resolve and build the mental and emotional moxie such times require.

 

Boosting mood in a tough economy

Many people in our country are currently in survival mode. Even those who had high paying jobs find themselves either unemployed or underemployed.  Finances are tight. The general mood among the populace is pretty low.

Boosting mood in this tough economy seems like a daunting task. Washington is doing what it can, putting various spins on the reality and highlighting any gains we are experiencing. It looks like we are working our way out of the financial woods - but it will take awhile before we are out completely.

I am reading a very interesting book entitled, "Deep Survival: Who lives, Who dies, And why". In it the author, Laurence Gonzales, tries to determine the reason that some people are more hearty than others in surviving disasters. He discovered that one of the deeper emotions survivors mine is humor.  It a release of tension and fears that dangerous situations produce.

The author discovered that laughter makes the feeling of being threatened manageable. It's about being cool. It's about laughing with an attitude of bold humility in the face of something terrifying. The best humorists and comedians make us laugh at life because it is a deep way we can make sense and poke fun of the burdens of life.  Survival humor is not the surface "ha ha's", but a deeper understanding of how the brain works in discovering and facing the reality of the situation.

In this tough economy, when was the last time you laughed?

The acceleration of life

None of us would have predicted on the first day of the Internet that we'd arrive where we are now. No one would have predicted that this many people would have connected, as fast as they did. No one would have imagined the range of social and cultural functions that have emerged. No one would have imagined how central it is to the operation of every key force in our society. On the first day, no one would have imagined that we would get to this point. From this point, it is impossible to imagine where we are going to go.

What we have seen is that the Internet facilitates rapid cultural evolution, dramatic change in a relatively short period of time, widespread dispersion of patterns, at a speed that would have previously been unimaginable. That means that prediction becomes that much harder.
One of the things that interests me is that if you look at science fiction, the first sci-fi novels that came out at the beginning of the 20th century had to imagine thousands of years into the future in order to imagine a future different enough to be interesting. Contemporary science fiction has to only move out five to ten years to be as dramatic. The time frame of the future gets narrower and narrower.

Our ability to look forward is that much harder because of the acceleration of change that has taken place throughout the 20th century, but particularly in the last couple of decades as digital technology has changed the speed and scale of human communication.

-- Excerpted from an interview with David M. Ewalt on Sept. 22, 2005.

Four dynamics for leaving a legacy

I recently had a meeting with a wonderful man who helps family owned businesses with succession planning, relational quandaries, and the leaving of a legacy.  His company the 100 fold project  helps leaders enliven the following dynamics to do just that. I found them not only fascinating but incredibly pertinent to our own movement through change and our desire to make a real difference in our lives:

The Capacity to Lead

Become an authentic and visionary leader

Lead your life with grace and truth

The Courage to Act

Create and manage effective paths of change

Resolve relational conflict

The Compassion to Love

Achieve results through high emotional intelligence

Develop productive and cohesive teams

The Character to Inspire

Demonstrate a spiritual dynamic in life

Create a life of integrity and performance

What's been on my mind

It's been a while since I wrote a post (three weeks). I've been working on a book that should be officially released in a month. That being said here's what's been on my mind lately.

The Incredibles: I just watched this movie last night and I never tire of seeing it. Now that I am in the throws of middle age (I never thought it would happen to me), I'm reminded of how fast time flies. I am also aware of the relentless changes that come with life. My body just doesn't do what it used to (heck, I take a walk around the park and my buttocks are sore for a couple days!). What strikes me everytime I see the movie is its honesty about being who you really are.

Through a series of lawsuits, the "supers" are relegated to living ordinary lives among ordinary people. Mr. Incredible thus begins to live a life of desperation. He becomes flabby. Deflated morale always occur when your gifts and talents are not being used for the better good. Today there are so many people who are underemployed, losing their home, or just scraping by. No wonder morale is so low today in our country. Too many people are not living (by no fault of their own) up to their potential. We, I, need what you have to offer the world. Part of knowing a gift is how energized you are when expressing it. You'll know you're being underused when you are drained most of the time. So, what energizes you and drains you?

Change or Die

If you had to make big changes in your life today in order to avoid death tomorrow, could you do it? Statistics say there’s a 9 to 1 probability that you can’t. How does lasting change happen?

Case in point: Heart by pass patients are told to change their life styles to incorporate much healthier habits like getting regular excersize and eating low fat, nutritious diets. They know they should do these things -they'll die sooner than later if they don't- yet within two years time 90% have not significantly altered their behavior.

What about us? Are we able to make significant changes and stick with them. Of course, we’ll say, “Yes, I’ll change.” And of course,we’ll begin to make those changes in lifestyle, eating habits, recreational pursuits and so on. But it’s not long before the enthusiasm tapers off, and we're soon back to square one. No change. No chance.

Changing people’s behavior isn’t just a costly health care issue. It’s an issue for businesses, where companies go belly-up every day still chanting the mantra, “We’ve always done it this way.” Corporations spend millions each year on consultants to bring in new practices and promote change, but any changes made are, at best, short-lived and, at worst, rejected out of hand.

It's not that we are uninformed. In a culture that inundates us with more that we can process about having a better lifestyle, advanced medical options, counselors and consultants, and a million other reasons to do so, change is just near impossible.

So how do we change and make it last? The answer lies in emotional resonance. We just can't cognitively think we are going to change, we need to be emotional persuaded to do so. In other words we need to approach change less from an informative and analytical left brain approach and begin making change from a right brain dynamic.  Change requires an emotional component in order to last.

If you really want to change people’s behavior, you need to give them a story, an identity, a relationship that is “emotionally resonant.”

What story do you want to live into? How is that narrative going to be lived out? See your life as story and yourself as the major character. This will create an emotional connection with your life that will create and sustain the changes needed to live happily ever after...